Week 4 - Making it about you

One day I was in the car with my husband and we began talking about our health goals. He told me that he had been struggling and I commiserated with him. Partway through the conversation he made an interesting comment:
  "I wonder," he said, "If my lack of motivation is actually a lack of self-respect."

When I hear people tell me their different reasons for not watching what they eat or exercising, the two excuses I hear most often are: 1) I don't have time or 2) I just lack the discipline (I just like bad food too much, I don't like working out, or I just don't care)

I think the excuses really boil down to what my husband said. We most likely are not lacking in time. I have sat down with plenty of clients and actually made a chart of what they do every waking hour of every day of the week and we have always found SOME time to log food and work out enough to get to their goals. Sometimes it is JUST enough time but there has always been enough. And when it comes to discipline, we all have discipline. Discipline simply depends on what we find important. If you find work important, you will have the discipline to work hard despite work being difficult sometimes. If we believe that our family is important, we will work hard to fulfill our family's needs.

Basically, we spend time and effort on what we believe is important. We all believe that health and fitness are important, of course (why else would you be reading this?), but do we believe that WE are important enough to put that sort of effort into?

Here are a few ways you can remember to make it about you:

1) Think about airplanes
   - We've all heard from the flight attendants that if there is a sudden drop in air pressure in the cabin, masks will fall from the ceiling. They then tell you are sitting next to someone who needs assistance to put your mask on first before helping someone else. Is that because the airlines want you to be a selfish jerk? NO! It's because you can't help someone if you pass out. It is the same with your health. Yes, there are a lot of people in your life. You are a very selfless person who is trying to take care of many people. You will be much better able to help the important people in our life by putting your mask on first.

2) Don't wait until you get to your goal to feel good about yourself 
  - This is one I need to work on. I tend not to take the time to put makeup on, do my hair, or dress in anything but sweats and one of my husband's comfy, oversized t-shirts. My excuse is usually about time. But I know that when I spend the time to look and feel nice outside, I am much more likely to treat my insides nice as well.

Let's also be truly honest with ourselves: getting to your weight loss goal will not magically make you feel better about who you are.

A sadly true meme: my husband has a saying - "If we aren't generous now when we don't have a lot of resources, then we won't be generous even if we get rich." The same is true for your self esteem - "If you can't take care of yourself/ like yourself now, you won't when you get to your goal." So don't put it off. I think you are great!

3) Follow the Golden Rule... Backwards
  - Don't just treat others the way you want to be treated, treat yourself the way you treat others. You would never tell others that they can't reach their goals or that they are not worth it. You would never tell a close friend that they look terrible in their favorite jeans because it's that time of the month and they feel a little bloated. Honestly, you are never as critical with others as you are with yourself. Be your own best friend. You are the only person you have to spend every minute of your life with so learn to get along with you.

4) 'No' is not a swear word
  - It is okay to put yourself first sometimes. I honestly don't think I would ever stress eat if I wasn't always spreading myself too thin over-committing myself. After a while I realize that something's got to give and my exercise followed by nutrition are the first on the chopping block. It is okay to decline and even back out of a commitment if you find that you are starting to put someone else's mask on before yours. I know you don't want to disappoint anyone but, again, if it comes between disappointing yourself or someone else, who are you going to be spending more time around?

I hope this is helpful for many of you. These are what I have found most trying for me. It may not apply to everyone. Feel free to comment if you have any other suggestions that have helped you make the journey about you.

My Progress: 

Weight: 186.6 lbs. I have no idea whether I was at a deficit during the time I stopped logging but I do know that I logged about .6 lbs of body fat loss between Monday and Friday (8/25-8/29). 

Successes: I got back to logging and was able to have a Buffalo Wild Wings night, date night eating out, and a pizza night with my husband and still reach my goal of an average 500 calorie deficit per day. See why I stress the food log? It makes you FREE!

Confession: My beautiful two-month-old is progressing every day. She is sleeping even sleeping through the night some nights and is more active during the day. Though I am getting lots more sleep this way, her schedule is still forming and I am having trouble figuring out when I can get stuff done for myself. Exercise is the commitment I have shirked.